There is this story about a prince, his wife, their cow and what happened to them while they were walking together one day. I heard this story told many years ago. It struck me in the same way that many stories from many traditions have over the years. I like re-telling it every once in a while because it reminds me to keep what people say in perspective. This is the way I remember it.
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Once there was a prince who was walking down the road one day with his wife. They were leading their cow along and enjoying their own company and quiet conversation. The three of them were in no particular hurry, as it was a very pleasant day, not too hot, and with plenty of shade along the way.
As they went along they came upon a group of women sitting in the shade of some trees by the side of the road. The women were weaving baskets and chatting among themselves about this and that, as people will do. The prince greeted them politely as they passed, and his wife looked down shyly, not wanting to appear too bold. The women returned the prince’s greeting, as was the custom in their neighborhood.
As they passed on down the road, they heard the women talking about them among themselves. One of the women said to the others in a low voice, “Look at that man. How he disrespects his wife, making her walk when she could be riding easily upon that sturdy cow of theirs.” Now, in that country, it was very common for people to ride along on the back of one of their cows, guiding it with the lead rope, or, sometimes being led by their husband, or companion, much as people ride horses or donkeys in other countries. So, none of the other women in the little group found this to be a very strange thing to say.
Well, when the prince’s wife heard what the woman said, she turned to her husband and said, “Did you hear what they were saying about you? You are a prince, and no one should think that you are so proud not to show your wife the proper respect. You are a very good husband, and I don’t want people to think badly of you. Come, help me up on our gentle cow that I may ride. That way no one will think badly of you, and we will hear no more complaints as we go along.” And that’s what the prince did. They stopped and he helped his wife climb up and sit comfortably on the back of their cow. The cow was good-natured and did not mind, as the prince’s wife was dainty, and an easy load to carry. Then, the three continued their pleasant walk as they had before. This time the prince walked, leading the cow easily with the rope while his wife road comfortably upon the cow’s back.
They had not gone too far when they came upon a group of men sitting in the shade off to the other side of the road. Like the women the three had passed earlier, the men were chatting quietly among themselves, telling stories and laughing. As before, the prince greeted them pleasantly, and the prince’s wife bowed her head showing the proper propriety. The men returned the prince’s greeting politely, as had the group of women, and the three companions passed on down the road. Just before they were out of earshot, the prince’s wife, who had very good ears, heard one of the men say to the others, “Look at the woman. How she disrespects her husband, making him walk along in the sun on this hot day, while she rides in comfort on their cow.”
Well, when the prince’s wife heard what the man said, she turned to her husband and said, “Did you hear what they were saying about you? You are a prince, and no one should think that you are so foolish as to marry a wife that does not show you the proper respect. You are a very good husband, and I respect you without measure. I don’t want people to think that you lack good judgment, and have not the wisdom to choose a good and proper wife who shows you the respect that you deserve. Come, help me down that you may ride and I will walk and lead the cow. That way no one will think badly of you or me, and we will hear no more complaints as we go along.” So, the prince did as his wife had suggested and helped her down from the cow. He then climbed up and settled himself comfortably on the cow’s back. The cow did not mind because, although the prince was tall and strong, the cow was very sturdy and could easily carry the weight of the prince without much more effort than when he carried the prince’s wife. And, so they continued their walk with the prince sitting easily upon the cow’s back and his wife leading the cow with the rope.
The three went on happily down the road in this way for some time until they happened upon another group of people eating a picnic lunch in the shade of the roadside trees. There were several families together with the usual assortment of fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, and children of various ages. They made a happy looking group with their colorful clothes and jolly faces, sitting together eating and laughing as they shared their food and many tales from their lives. Just as before, the prince greeted them pleasantly from the back of the cow as his wife led the cow along the road. With so many mothers and children about, this time the prince’s wife smiled and nodded shyly at some of the mothers as she passed. Several members of the group, both men and women, asked the prince and his wife to join them and share their food and festivities. The prince graciously thanked them for their kindness and answered that he and his wife still had rather far to go before the day walked away from them, so that they must decline the kind invitation.
With the prince riding and his wife leading the cow, the three continued on down the road. Now, you will remember that the prince’s wife had very good ears, so it will be no big surprise to you that before they went around the next bend in the road, the prince’s wife heard someone in the group say, “Look at that prince! How he disrespects his wife, making her lead the cow when she could be riding easily beside him upon that sturdy cow of theirs.” Some in the group began to murmur their agreement.
When she heard this, the prince’s wife’s ears began to burn with embarrassment and she said to her husband, “Did you hear what they are saying about you? People must not come to believe that you have no respect for your wife and treat her cruelly, as if she were a slacking servant. You must save your reputation and ride with me upon the back of our good and faithful cow.” So, to please his wife and all the people they might pass along their way, the prince joined his wife upon the cow’s back. The cow was quite used to carrying loads much heavier than the prince and his wife together, for it often pulled the plow, or pulled logs or stones from the fields, or carried grain, or pulled a wagon full of goods. They always treated the cow well, giving it plenty of good food and water, and time to rest when it needed it. And the prince and his wife were careful to sit quietly upon its back without jostling back and forth, so the cow could walk at an easy pace. In this way, with both the prince and his wife sitting comfortably together on their humble cow’s back, they passed on happily down the road.
As it happened, when they had gone on for some time, the three came upon another small group of people traveling the other way along the road. As was their custom, the prince greeted the fellow travelers with pleasant grace, and his wife modestly lowered her eyes as they passed each other. The other travelers returned the greetings with good cheer and offered blessings for an easy journey for the prince and his wife, and continued on their way.
Just before the other travelers passed out of the range of the prince’s wife’s hearing, which was a good ways, the prince’s wife overheard one of the travelers say, “Look at that prince and his wife! How cruel they are to their faithful cow, making him carry them both when they each have perfectly good legs to walk on themselves.”
When the prince’s wife heard this she was beside herself with frustration. She turned to her husband and said, “Did you hear what this new group of people think of us? We have tried every possible way to please those we have met along the way, and no one is satisfied! Someone is always unhappy with the way we are proceeding. How can we live up to all these different standards? What are we to do?”
The prince was not only kind and generous and polite, but also wise. He said to his wife, “We will never be able to please everyone, so why don’t we simply trust in our own judgment and please ourselves?” And that is what they decided to do. They both got down off the cow’s back and the three companions continued on happily as they had started out, each walking on their own legs and keeping pleasant company together.
In this way the prince, his wife, and their cow learned to listen to the advice of others, but to trust most of all in their own judgment about how to walk along their path.
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